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Ways to improve your dating prospects

Woman and man smiling as they participate in a cooking class.

A cooking class could be the change-up you need. (Photo: Flickr/Wedstock 2011)

Ways to improve your dating prospects

September 17, 2012

Q: I'm a 25-year-old woman, and I've been single for almost 4 years now. I've been on plenty of dates and have no problem meeting men. Friends tell me I should date guys who are interested in me even though I'm not physically attracted to them, saying the attraction will come with time. I'm starting to lose faith in the dating world and finding someone who's right for me. Any advice?

A: I often tell my clients to approach dating in a similar manner as they would a job interview. What dating does is give you the opportunity to learn more about what you like and don't like, how you respond to certain individuals with certain characteristics, and what makes you comfortable or what doesn't. Just like a job, every guy is not going to be right for you, but you learn so much about yourself in the process and get to have a little fun too.

It is very important that you don't get discouraged in the process because that takes the joy out of it and it's not about getting to the "destination" of relationship, it's about enjoying each day along the journey.

Incorporate the things you like to do in the process; don't feel obligated to do dinners, movies, and happy hours. If you love to hike, take hiking dates, if you love to cook, do a cooking class with a new guy. You may be able to see different dimensions that you hadn't considered and your attraction to the right guy may come as a surprise when the environment is changed.

-- Answer from Dr. Tiye, a clinical psychologist on JustAnswer.

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