With the Holiday season right around the corner, it’s stressful enough having to organize the get-togethers and shop for presents – having to deal with family squabbles during the Holidays can almost be unbearable. How can you avoid the anxiety of trying to please all of the family during what is supposed to be
“the most wonderful time of the year?” Luckily, Licensed Counselor and Mental Health Expert on JustAnswer, Sybil Keane, provides some tips to help you be prepared and handle the different situations that could arise during the Holidays:
Don’t Wait Until the Last Minute To Make Decisions – Decide your Holiday plans well in advance with all family members who are involved, and even hold family meetings to get input from everyone. “Discuss with extended family members what you are doing early enough so that they don’t feel slighted if you decide to go elsewhere, or arrange a date with them,” says Dr. Keane. “Too many arguments evolve from family who ‘assume’ you’d be there for the dinner, weekend or holiday.” She also says that this extends to decisions like determining how much money you are budgeting to spend on gifts, so make sure to have those plans thought out and agreed upon.
Newlyweds and the In-Laws – An often unavoidable situation is deciding which spouse’s family to spend the Holidays with. “Many couples start their marriages out right by alternating Holidays with the respective in-laws,” suggests Dr. Keane. It’s good to talk with both in-laws and compromise on which events to attend so that there are no surprises when you are a no-show at one of the family gatherings.
You Can Still Spend the Holidays with Estranged Family Members – It can be difficult juggling time with estranged family members during the Holidays, and if it’s not possible for others not to put aside differences and be around those people, Dr. Keane suggests that it’s best not to force it. “If that’s the case, find an alternative date to celebrate with them during the holiday season, whether it be a dinner or ice skating,” she says. Unfortunately, some people will be offended no matter what you decide, so Dr. Keane says to be prepared for that and to not feel guilty over your decision.
Keep It Simple – According to Dr. Keane, the best way to relieve any stress over the Holidays is simply put – keep it simple. “For some reason, the Holidays evoke memories that were ‘perfect’ in our minds because that is what we want to remember and try to re-create – even though they were not always perfect,” she says. Some suggestions are to stop trying to create the best of everything and allow yourself to savor your relationships, especially during the Holiday season when everyone comes together. She also recommends having fewer expectations, so that you won’t be disappointed if everything doesn’t turn out “perfectly.”
If you want to ask Dr. Keane or other Mental Health Experts how to handle your family situations this Holiday season, you can go to JustAnswer 24/7 and ask your question now.
